Sobriety During the Holidays

When you have made the decision to become sober and are in recovery, it is inevitable that you will be confronted with challenging situations. Holiday gatherings with friends and family are a case in point.

In addition to dealing with your own vulnerabilities that can arise during the holidays, you may find yourself with friends and family members who have their own substance use issues and unhealthy emotional patterns.

Each individual is different, but here are some factors that make the holiday season difficult for those recovering from addiction:

• Dysfunctional family dynamics
• Gatherings and parties centered around alcohol or other substances
• Isolation and loneliness during a family-focused time
• Financial stress from gift-giving and travel
• Chaotic schedules throwing usual routines off balance

Sober Preparation

Develop a plan to protect your sobriety ahead of any holiday event and activity that could potentially trigger relapse to substance abuse.

1. Have strategies in place. Whether you’re new to recovery or have been in recovery for years, creating a plan before attending holiday gatherings can help you avoid awkwardness and triggers.
2. Be prepared with polite responses and refusals to use substances.
3. Avoid Known Risks. Avoid people who grill you about rehab or who push you to drink. Staying sober and safeguarding your recovery must always come first.
4. Have an escape route. Have your transportation and lodging options in place, so that the 10th time someone offers you a drink and asks why you’re refusing, you can exit gracefully.
5. Find a supportive crew. It’s important to have people who know your story, and to know that you can talk to them if things get tough.
6. Schedule activities around sobriety. Attend support meetings or share meals with those in your recovery community.

How to Refuse a Drink

• Be respectful, friendly, firm, and clear in your response.
• Look directly at the person offering you the drink and make eye contact.
• A simple “no thank you” or “I don’t drink” should be a sufficient response, but “I am the designated driver” or “I want to have a clear head in the morning” can be effective.

If someone continues to be persistent about your having a drink or asks inappropriate questions, you can to repeat your response, excuse yourself to make a phone call, get some fresh air or exit gracefully.

Tips from Alcoholics Anonymous

Tips from Hazeldon Betty Ford Foundation

Plan Sober-Friendly Events

Plan your holiday dinners and gatherings without alcohol and note in your invitations that it will be a sober-friendly event.  If offering alcohol has been a major element in previous gatherings, plan to offer alcohol-free beverages and search online for alcohol-free drink recipes. If asked why you aren’t offering alcohol, you can offer a simple explanation such as “I didn’t feel like serving alcohol this year” or “I’m encouraging health and safety during the holidays.”

Don’t Bring Up the Past

Addiction has many players and affects many people in a person’s life. The holidays are not the time to bring up past grievances and actions.  This can spoil your gathering, and stirring up these negative emotions can also put your loved one at risk of relapse. Instead, choose forgiveness and trust that there will be opportunities for discussing the past later.